No one likes to think about it or talk about it, but all parents worry about it: child abduction. Experts agree that the main way to keep kids safe (because you really can't watch them every moment of the day!) is to talk with them about the dangers. But how do you talk to your kids without terrifying them? Here is a great article that gives you conversation starters based on your child's age and developmental level. Remember, it's just a STARTER. You need to keep the conversation going all the time, asking questions, figuring out what they are thinking, how aware they are. And talk to other parents; get-and give- advice! Believe me, you are not the only parent wondering what to do! Here's the article: http://www.take25.org/~/media/Take25/ResourceDocuments/ConversationStarters_2013-EN.pdf
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Parents often wonder "Is this normal or should I be worried?" I think that starts pretty much from the time you know you are pregnant! It seems like just when we have our kids figured out, they change. And that's true. Some developmental phases can last only a few months. But, sometimes you get a feeling that there is something wrong. If your child has changed in a way that concerns you, listen to your intuition. You know your child! Don't be embarrassed to ask for help or for an objective opinion. It often only takes a session or two to figure out a new technique to help your child, or you, through a "phase", or to head off a deeper problem. Here is an article that can help parents know when to seek help: "Facts for Families" from the AACAP Although there have been many changes in how parents feel about raising boys over the last few years, the truth is, boys still are faced with overwhelming pressure to "be tough" and to not show weakness. For boys who are by nature sensitive, it can be really hard to fit in. These boys are often targeted for bullying and, unfortunately, parents may not know how to support these children and may even make it worse for them. Dr. Ted Zeff gives us ten ways to help our sensitive boys in this article: http://drtedzeff.com/news/saving-our-sons-ten-step-plan-for-nonviolence.php Neuro-diversity--a fancy way of saying that all brains are different! People tend to believe that disabilities, like dyslexia, ADHD or mental illness are "all or nothing", meaning you have it or you don't. But in reality, every disability is on a continuum and many disabilities are very changeable in nature. Here's a great video that explains the brain function behind dyslexia and dispels some of the myths. Don't worry: it's short and entertaining, too! http://www.ncld.org/ld-insights/blogs/dyslexic-brain-video Problems with reading are common for people who have ADHD or focus problems. The exact reason for this is unknown; however, some research has emerged from the MIND Institute at UC Davis which might lead to one explanation. Brain scans of people with ADHD show that they tend to use more of the visual parts of their brains than "normal" people. Typically, when people read, they "hear" the words they are reading and then use their imaginations to visualize. It's possible that people with ADHD are skipping the hearing part and going right to the visual part. Not a bad thing when it comes to great imaginations and art, but possibly a problem when it comes to reading speed and comprehension. One of the strategies that has helped people with reading problems is to read in short amounts and then paraphrase the sentences, so that they are forcing themselves to use the auditory part of their brains. Of course, this would be slow at first, but for some people, as they gain this skill, they may strengthen that part of their brain to improve reading skills. If you or your child are finding yourself with this problem, give this strategy a try. What other strategies have you found successful for problems with reading and/or ADHD? Let me know! One of my favorite quotes is from Christopher Robin to his stuffed bear, Winnie the Pooh: “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." We all need to hear that now and then. This video (thanks to my friend Jessi Meyburg for sharing it) tells us to remember something more: You are more beautiful than you think. It's worth a few minutes of your time to watch. http://www.upworthy.com/2-people-described-the-same-person-to-a-forensic-artist-and-this-is-what-happene When I was growing up, most people believed that PMS was "all in our heads". Now, of course, we understand that it is biologically founded, but also that it can be managed. Postpartum depression has recently undergone the same process: after years of being dismissed as another hysterical women's issue, we now know that it has a biological and psychological basis. This book, by a local author and hypnotherapist, will give you great ideas for how to deal with depression (all those raging hormones and life changes!) after having a baby. I had the pleasure of being a client of Laura's several years ago, getting some deep relaxation treatment through hypnosis. She is intelligent, understanding and compassionate! Check out her website on postpartum depression here: http://www.postpartum-living.com. Racing thoughts. We all have them: periods of time when we can't get our minds to slow down. Often they occur late at night and long into the morning hours when we are most vulnerable. Racing thoughts are often associated with anxiety or ADHD but anyone can experience them. The difference is in the frequency and severity. But why do we have them at all? Research suggests that people who are susceptible to them have a problem with the dopamine system in their brains. Dopamine is often called the "pleasure" chemical; it's the chemical that is released when we feel sensations of joy or comfort. It appears that people who have frequent problems with racing thoughts may have less access to dopamine and may need more stimulation to get that chemical reaction in their brains. What is more "stimulating" than racing thoughts? You would think that racing thoughts, since they make us uptight, wouldn't bring on dopamine, but our brains can't always tell the difference between "good" stimulation and "bad" stimulation. If you have ADHD or anxiety disorder, you know what I mean! And unfortunately, dopamine is also associated with the reward center of the brain and so whatever increases dopamine is likely to be repeated. That's why some people have such problems with frequent racing thoughts. What can we do? Plenty! First of all, there are way more healthy ways to stimulate our brains. You know what I'm going to say: exercise, good nutrition, learning, playing fun games. Meditation does the trick best, actually. You don't have to sit in a room with a candle and say "ohm" to meditate. Mindfulness meditation can happen in just a few seconds once you have some practice and is very effective at bringing dopamine into your brain. If you want more information about Mindfulness Meditation, check out these links for some good audio clips and short explanations: http://mindfulness.org.au/MINDFULNESS%20SOUNDTRACKS.htm. or http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22 . And here is a link to some short but powerful exercises when done on a regular basis: http://www.the-guided-meditation-site.com/mindfulness-exercises.html. Or contact me for some Mindfulness Counseling. Try this out and kiss those racing thoughts good bye! Last week I attended the Learning Disabilities Association of Washington meeting and listened to Drs. Fernette and Brock Eide, authors of The Dyslexic Advantage, a book about the often unrecognized strengths that people with dyslexia may have. Some of the strengths the Eides identified are "advanced abilities in Material Reasoning, Interconnected Reasoning, Narrative or Story-Based Reasoning, and Dynamic Reasoning, a type of reasoning associated with forecasting". I was thinking of my own experience with many folks with dyslexia who have problems with 2D images like reading or decoding graphics but can easily comprehend complex 3D structures. In other words, they might not be able to read, but they could build things and understand depth and space in ways that my poor brain will never be able to do! Of course, that is a generalization. Not all people with dyslexia have those strengths, but the Eides research suggests that many do. And it makes sense that no one would notice this: 3D abilities aren't really used all that much in grade school. As parents, we think our children's ability to build with blocks is amazing, but in school, it's reading and paperwork that counts. All that 2D stuff! If you think about the long-haul, though, don't we live in a 3D world, too? Isn't being able to park a car in a small space, or construct a bridge or visualize a chemical bond pretty valuable skills? (Ones that many of us excellent readers don't have, by the way!) If you are interested in finding out more about the Dyslexic Advantage or LDAWA, links are provided below! Learning Disabilities Association of Washington-http://www.ldawa.org Dyslexic Advantage-http://dyslexicadvantage.com |