Dan Griffin, author, speaker and podcaster, says this in his article about men and depression: "Men today are awash in intense conflicting messages about what it means to be a man. And, they are finding that the things that they once took for granted as the rewards for following The Man Rules–the right job, financial security, sex, marriage, family–are not as easily guaranteed as they’d been taught."
In this episode of his podcast, The Man Rules, Dan interviews Dr. Terry Real, expert on men and relationships, author of several books including
I Don't Want to Talk About It, a revealing book about men and depression.
It's no surprise to hear that men are drawn to anger as a way to deal with depression. Typically men are socialized and possibly genetically predisposed to want to take action when they feel strong emotions. So when the underpinnings of depression come along--sadness, shame, fear--men often turn to anger or contempt, which fuels action and also feel much better in the brain. The problem, of course, is that anger and contempt are not very helpful in relationships and often end up isolating men from the people they love--which causes more depression!
This interview and Terry Real's book explain how this difficult pattern came to be, the impact on relationships and men's lives in general, as well as how to heal. Definitely worth the time to listen to and read about!
Here's the PODCAST--Episode 104.